Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
