Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
