in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
