we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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