Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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