I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
