I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
