I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
