I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
