I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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