I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
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