I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
