Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
