Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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