I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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