is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
