Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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