Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
