Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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