Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
