Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize