ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
