don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize