I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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