Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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