Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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