Sry I called you an 8
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
