my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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