I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
