sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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