His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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