Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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