I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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