just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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