they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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