There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Randomize
