Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
