you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
