Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
