What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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