Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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