I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
