I'm going to jail i love you
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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