I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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