This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just fell off a train. Bad.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
