Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
