I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
