508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
