i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
