I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
