dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
