I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
