He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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