giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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