Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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