I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
