I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
