We won't sleep together?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
