So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
