Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
