holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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